i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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