I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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