He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
