Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
