I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
