i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
