they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
