If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
