I wannas sexs uuuuu
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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