yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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