and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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