We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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