you guys were way drunker than both of me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
