How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
