So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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