4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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