turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
