i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
