I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
