Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm at about main and main street
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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