There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
