My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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