Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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