If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
