Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
