I smell stomach acid.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
