Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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