She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
