yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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