Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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