is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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