I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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