He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He better not be in your backpack
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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