Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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