This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
