I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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