i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
