he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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