Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
