ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
