he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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