After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
