They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we made out on top of his cat.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
