I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
