I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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