if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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