so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize