soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
