You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize