How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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