I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I could fuck to npr.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
