party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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