Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
