He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
