I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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