The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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