don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
