Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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