so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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