If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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